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I had seen them in the streets of the city, kissing in door ways, holding hands and touching each other at concerts. I had however never had a conversation with one and I had a vague idea that they were antagonistic towards me because I was a man. A part of me took an instant dislike to the idea that Majken was a lesbian, but another part took solace in this explanation of my own rejection. I disregarded both of these treacherous thoughts though because I was fascinated and some what dizzy at my discovery. Majken was watching me closely. I smiled at her. I was quite stoned already. She began to question me with regards to my thoughts on sex and soon she was asking me about my sexual conquests. Who was the last girl I had been with? What did I do to her? What was it like? "Are you a virgin then?" I suddenly blurted out. She wasn't. She'd had sex, but only with boys; only the sort of drunken fumbling at parties which left her feeling confused and dejected. "Tell me how it feels to fuck. If your cup is half full you probably need a different bra.Some things are better left unsaid, which I generally realize after I have said them.I don’t know which is longer a microwave minute or a treadmill minute.My head says gym, but my heart says tacosThe following is compliments of John A.This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise.When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi.As they “oohed and aahed” the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.“It’s free,” Peter replied, “this is Heaven.”Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth.The.
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